


Engorgio!

by butterflyslinky



Series: Alphabet One-Shots [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Body Humor/Horror, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 20:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1525373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflyslinky/pseuds/butterflyslinky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roger Davies is the second-handsomest boy at Hogwarts. But he has the best looking girl as his date and will go anything to impress her. Unfortunately, that's not so easily undone...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Engorgio!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Mugglenet Fanfiction in the summer of 2011. I was honestly surprised that I was the first one to write a story about the misuse of an engorgement spell. Also, another good reason to move all my stories: this one is member-locked on MNFF.

Roger Davies was the handsomest boy at Hogwarts.

Well, second handsomest, anyway. Roger admitted that Diggory generally had the one up on him, both in class and with the ladies. But Diggory had missed his chance. He’d asked Cho Chang and turned down the Veela girl. Roger got the Veela.

A whole night with her! Roger couldn’t be sure of her full intentions, of course, but he could guess. After all, he was the second handsomest boy at Hogwarts. And she was the prettiest girl at Beauxbatons.

And he’d be ready for her.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Chip Carson, Roger’s roommate and best friend, asked as they were getting ready for the ball.

“Of course I do!” Roger said. “I can’t impress her otherwise.”

“You already impressed her enough to ask her to the ball,” Chip pointed out.

“That wasn’t difficult,” Roger pointed out. “That Weasley kid had just asked her. I think she would have taken the giant squid over him. But this is different. I need to impress her more.”

Chip rolled his eyes. “Are you sure this isn’t just an inadequacy issue on your part?” he asked. “I mean, you’ve always been self-conscious to the point where most of the time you don’t even bother asking girls out… and you’re the Quidditch captain!”

“I don’t have issues, Chip!” Roger said emphatically.

“Okay,” Chip sighed. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Roger shook his head and aimed his wand. “Engorgio! ”

*

The ball was lovely. Or so Roger heard later. He wasn’t really paying attention to anything except Fleur. In fact, he didn’t really remember most of the evening. He knew that he ate something and that he danced with Fleur. The next thing he remembered, they were on the grounds in a rosebush and Fleur was kissing him very forcefully. Roger tried to pay attention, but it was very difficult. His head just wouldn’t clear of her Veela perfume… he was going to get there…

“’OW DARE YOU!”

They fell over just in time to see Madame Maxime jump up and start berating Hagrid about something. Roger wasn’t sure entirely what, but he realized that he had probably just lost his shot since the mood was obviously ruined.

Fleur grabbed his arm and hauled him to another clump of bushes far away from the large figures by the statues. Roger was wrong. The mood was just fine.

*

“Good night?” Chip asked as Roger staggered back into the dormitory.

“I guess,” Roger said. “At any rate, she was very happy when we came back in.”

Chip sat up. “You mean that you went to all the trouble of impressing her and you don’t even remember it?”

“I remember something happened,” Roger said. “But I was kind of dizzy… you know, Veela powers.”

“Right,” Chip said. “Well, let’s assume you’ve impressed her enough and can get back to normal now.”

Roger sighed, turned to his own bed, and pulled the hangings shut. He pulled out his wand and muttered, “Reducio ”.

Chip was almost asleep when Roger yelled, “Chip! You’ve got to help me, mate!”

“What’s the matter?” Chip asked.

“It won’t undo!” Roger said.

“What do you mean? You just do the countercharm and it’s fine.”

“I did, but it didn’t work.”

Chip frowned and grabbed his own wand from the nightstand. Then he hesitated. “Do you want me to come back there and try to fix it?”

There was a moment of silence, then Roger said, in a very small voice, “Please?”

Chip sighed. If he and Roger had not been very good friends, he would definitely not do this. But Roger had been his best friend ever since their first year when Chip had been bullied by a number of older students. Roger had stood up for Chip and the two had been best friends ever since. But all loyalties aside, this was a bit ridiculous.

“He stood by me when I was weak, and I stand by him when he’s crazy,” Chip muttered as he slipped behind Roger’s curtains. Roger was right. There had been no change since he’d done that stupid charm.

“Should I laugh and say I told you so now, or should I wait until we’ve found a way to fix it?” Chip asked.

“Would you just undo it?” Roger begged. “It’s really starting to hurt.”

Chip aimed his wand and said clearly, “Reducio!”

Nothing happened. Chip tried again. “Reducio!”

Nothing.

“Maybe you should see Madame Pomfrey,” Chip suggested.

Roger looked horrified. “Are you kidding? Ask her about this? It’s embarrassing enough to ask you for help and you’re my best mate!”

“I know,” Chip sighed. “Well, what about Professor Flitwick? He might be a little more understanding.”

“I don’t want to see any teachers about this. Is there something in our Charms book?”

Chip shrugged and fetched a copy of The Standard Book of Spells, Grade One. He turned to the section on Engorgement charms and started reading. “Let’s see… ‘used to enlarge objects…’ no shit, that’s why you were using it… ‘typically only used in very specific situations…’ yes… ‘should only be used on inanimate objects or entire creatures…’ I told you that… no, nothing about your situation in here. We could try a more advanced volume when the library opens.”

“That’s not for another four hours!” Roger exclaimed. “I can’t wait four hours!”

“Well, then we either go to the hospital wing or I get Professor Flitwick,” Chip said coolly. “I can’t undo it, you can’t undo it, and you don’t want to wait to go to the library.”

“We have NEWT level Charms books,” Roger said. “See if there’s something in there.”

Chip got the book. “Well, this is a little better,” he admitted. “‘In case of accidental Engorgement charms on a human subject or any part thereof, a Reducing charm in unlikely to be effective. The charm can be undone with a Shrinking Solution or a very advanced charm. A Shrinking Solution is advisable since the advanced Reducing charms tend to leave the subject much, much smaller than desired.’” Chip looked up. “Well, do you want to make a Shrinking Solution? Or should I go ask Professor Snape if he has one?”

“I’d prefer Flitwick to Snape,” Roger snapped. “But a Shrinking Solution is only a third year potion. We can make it ourselves.”

“You can make it,” Chip corrected. “I’ve never been very good at Potions.”

“Chip…”

“All right, I’ll help.” Chip found a beat-up third year Potions book and pulled Roger’s cauldron out from under the bed. “And you’d better appreciate this.”

For the next hour, Chip and Roger did their best to brew the potion unobtrusively. Luckily, their roommates were very heavy sleepers and didn’t notice the flurry of activity going on around them.

Finally, the potion was done. Chip took a ladle and scooped up a bit of the green potion. “Are you ready?” he asked.

Roger nodded. “Just do it,” he muttered.

Chip let the potion pour. It worked. Roger breathed a sigh of relief as the Engorgement charm was undone.

“Normal?” Chip asked.

“Yes,” Roger said. “Thanks.”

Chip laughed and said, “I told you so.”

Roger shook his head as both of them went to bed. It was worth it to impress Fleur. And no matter the size, he was still the handsomest boy at Hogwarts.

At least, second-handsomest.


End file.
